About every year or so, a harem type anime series , or at least a anime series that is loaded with girls comes along that makes me wish that I was about the main character’s age and had my choice of those girls. Examples of anime from the past where I would have wanted to have my choice of the girls are; Love Hina, Kanon, Clannad, KimiKiss, Ai Yori Aoshi, Shuffle, Azumanga Daioh, Da Capo, Lucky Star, and now my newest favorite Bakemonogatari.
I think that the reason why I like these kind of series is that in my younger days, me and my friends were kind of like those harem leads; a little clueless and confused about the fairer sex. But, unlike those Japanese male harem leads we were horny dogs, and any fairly nice looking girl was a target of opportunity, almost nothing was off limits. I think that this phase lasted up until about age 20 when I finally realized that was more to an relationship than getting a girl to jump in the sack with me. But, these harem type anime make me long of those good old days, and what makes these series interesting is that the girls are ready for the taking if the lead would just get off his ass and go for it.
So, this brings me to Bakemonogatari, I find the cast of girls surrounding Koyomi to be quite an interesting bunch and tasty bunch. Now, I’ll go down and describe each girls in detail, and at the end, I’ll make my choice.
The girls of Bakemonogatari.
Karen and Tsukihi Araragi (Koyami’s younger sisters)
Pluses: Well, they’re both young and cute, and they live in the same house as you making them highly available.
Minuses: If you even consider them you must be crazy, they’re your sisters for god sakes.
Conclusion: While his sisters are really cute, they’re totally off limits for you. I think that the best thing to happen would be if Koyomi had some males friends that found his sisters attractive then maybe they’d stop riding his ass if they got a little loving.
Hitagi Senjōgahara (the star of the fascination movement)
Pluses: She’s very attractive, and she one of the very few tsundere girls to even admit to having that trait, she’s straight forward, and hell, she’s even undressed in front of you. She’s told you that she loves you, and she’s agreed to be your GF.
Minuses: I don’t know, but something just bothers me about her, while I find her an extremely interesting girl, she still has major issues.
Conclusion: While I wouldn’t mind hitting that, I’d always have to keep one eye open in case she snaps.
Nadeko Sengoku (friend of your sisters)
Pluses: Nadeko is young and cute, you see her quite often because she’s your younger sisters’ friend, and she’s clearly crushing on you.
Minuses: Nadeko is about three or four years younger than you, and she’s a friend of your younger sisters. If you dated Nadeko you would be accused of robbing the cradle, and your sisters might think that you’re an asshole.
Conclusion: Nadeko is clearly attracted to you, and you’ve know her for a longtime, so this could be a high risk/reward relationship.
Tsubasa Hanekawa (Koyomi’s long time friend)
Pluses: Tsubasa is very attractive, intelligent, quiet and thoughtful, and she’s your long time friend. You also know that Tsubasa struggles with her inner nature to be a completely good girl, and that deep down inside she wants to be a little wild.
Minuses: Tsubasa has a terrible family life, and you know that she’s the subject of occasional physical abuse and maybe even worse things.
Conclusion: For all her problems Tsubasa is literally the girl next door type, and even better she harbors a hidden wild side. This is almost the perfect situation; with you, Tsubasa could unleash her hidden wild child and let off all her hidden desires to your benefit making for some rewarding study sessions.
Suruga Kanbaru (you stole her crush)
Pluses: Suruga is very athletic, strong, and attractive.
Minuses: Suruga is a raging lesbian who’s attracted to your GF.
Conclusion: Are you crazy, leave this one alone because she tried to kill you once before.
Shinobu Oshino (the loli vampire)
Pluses: She was once a smoking hot vampire, and now, well……..she’s quite a loli.
Minuses: Shinobu’s a almost totally catatonic loli vampire, and she’s not good for much interaction.
Conclusion: While it’s only a small step to take from sharing your blood with her to sharing other personal fluids I don’t see this relationship being very rewarding.
Mayoi Hachikuji (the lost snail)
Pluses: Mayoi, literally is the true eternal loli, while you get older she stays the same.
Minuses: Well, first of all, she’s dead, and secondly while never getting older might be a plus, it would be kind of weird having a ghost loli as a GF as you got older.
Conclusion: While having a ghost loli for a GF might be fun and safe since I don’t think that statutory rape laws apply to dead girls that no one else can see, I think having Mayoi appear and disappear would be quite annoying. Plus, don’t piss her off, because she’s got one hell of a bite, ouch!
The winner of my Bakemonogatari harem prize goes to……………………….
While it was a tough choice picking what girl I would want if I was Koyomi, it came down to a three way race between Nadeko, Tsubasa, and Hitagi with me choosing Nadeko as my winner.
One of the biggest deciding factors came down to the simple fact that out of all the girls Nadeko seemed to be the most normal of the whole bunch, and that her supernatural problem was a result of other peoples problems with her, and not her having a major personal/family issue.
Another factor in this decision was one of the emotional age/maturity level between Nadeko and Koyomi (and boys and girls in general). So, while Koyomi is several years older than Nadeko he’s really at about the same maturity level as she’s currently at. Koyomi’s a virgin boy who’s clearly attracted to Nadeko, and she’s a virgin girl who clearly is attracted to him, so I thinks it’s a perfect match. All they have to do is keep their relationship on the QT for a year or so, and then after another year or two when Koyomi’s a college junior and Nadeko’s a high school senior all people will say is that they make a cute couple and wonder if they’ll be invited to the wedding in a year or so.
Plus, if I was Koyomi’s age, I wouldn’t mind it a bit to come home to find Nadeko waiting for me dressed as below, Sweet!