Sawako and her wall 001001

      This episode begins with Sawako having a flashback of elementary school showing us how she got the nickname of Sadako, it came from her friend Shino and it was a slip of the tongue that stuck.

Brick one of the wall

the name Sadako stuck

      This continued through middle school where people thought is was fun to talk about Sadako having supernatural power, so this became her perceived nature.

Brick two of the wall

I bet Sadako has powers

Brick three of the wall

Sadako building the wall

       Sawako goes on to tell us that rumors beget other rumors and by high school everyone assumed she had supernatural powers, and while she says it makes her sad she’s never experienced anything truly painful.

All in all it’s just another brick in her wall.

if you look in her eyes

The wall is now complete

no pain may pass this wall

the wall is complete

       Then the scene switches to Sawako’s confrontation with the girls who were bad mouthing Yano and Yoshida, and just at that moment Ryuu and Kazehaya find out about the conflict in the bathroom. Then Yano and Yoshida arrive on the scene and they find out about Sadako and the girls, Ryuu tells Kazehaya that it looks like he wants to do something. Yes, but this situation has to settled between the girls or it would be meaningless.

the troublemaker and the slutSadako and the other girlsit's about those rumors

Yano and Yoshida arriving on the scene

I can't do anything about this

      Sawako tells the girls to take back those rumors, but the lead girl (Yuuka) tosses Sawako to the ground and tells her that she, Sadako, is the one who started the rumors. Sawako tells them she would never say anything like that, but Yuuka says they have a issue with her. She then goes on to say that she thought that Yano and Yoshida were just hanging out with her because she was interesting, but then the issue of Sadako using Yano and Yoshida to get close to Kazehaya comes up. Yuuka tells Sadako to just keep to herself and leave everyone alone like she used to do, and they won’t bother her anymore.

take it backyou're wrong about ityou'll hurt them

you started those rumors

why would I bad mouth themthey thought you were interestingyou used them to get to Kazehaya

keep to yourself

we'll leave you alone

Judgement time approaches

a judgement

        Sawako tells them No, it’s all a lie, because while everyone avoided her Yano and Yoshida didn’t avoid her, and they weren’t frightened of her. She goes on to tell them that they were kind to her, and they have no idea how much she likes Yano and Yoshida, she even says that she loves them. At that point, Yano and Yoshida have made their way to the bathroom and have overheard the whole conversation, they now intervene on Sadako’s behalf.

they were not afraid of meHow kind they were to me 001you have no idea how much I like them

I love Yano and Yoshida

Sawako finally decides to tear down her wall

the fall coming down

the intervention

       Yuuka demands to know why Yano and Yoshida are sticking up for Sadako when she started the rumors, and they both say that there’s no way that Sadako could have started those rumors. Yoshida goes on to offer a beat-down to Yuuka if she doesn’t leave now, and it seems that Yuuka and Yoshida seem to have some history dating back to middle school. After some bitching, the other girls leave Yoshida, Yano, and Sadako alone in the bathroom. Sawako begins to cry as she thanks Yano and Yoshida for believing her.

why are you helping herHurry up and dissapearI want to settle with Sadako

you won't get off so easily

thank you for believing me

      Outside, as the other girls are leaving the restroom, Kazehaya states that he hates false rumors, and that they were so untrue. Later, Hirano and Endo tell Kazehaya and Ryuu that Sadako stood up for Yano and Yoshida even after she was tossed to the ground. They say that they couldn’t do anything for her but Yano and Yoshida saved her, and this confirms to the rest of the class that Sadako couldn’t have started the rumors.

you know how untrue those were

she did her best

      Later, back inside the bathroom, Sawako talks with Yano and Yoshida about the rumors and how she felt that they hurt both of them but she wants to be together with them, and she finally says she wants to be their friend. Yano then asks Sadako if she thought they were hurt by the rumors, and being close to her? Yano then goes over and hugs Sadako, she also says that when Sadako was worried about them being hurt she must have also been hurting inside.  When Sawako tries to blow off her being tossed to the ground by claiming she fell down Yano calls her a fool but keeps hugging her. Yoshida then goes on to tell Sadako to not get used to being alone, and they’ve become friends without even realising it.

I hurt youI want to be friendsyou thought we were hurt

Standing in the ruins of her wall Sawako finds friendship

we became friends without even knowing it

my first friends

      Just as things are getting really emotional between the three girls Pin shows up expecting he had a fight to breakup. When he sees nothing but a “stupid adolescent scene”, he breaks up the mob and tells them move on.

I have no interest in this

       At the conclusion of the exams, Sawako tells us her ranking fell to 30th while the rest of the students in Sawako’s class rose, and they thank Sadako for her study notes. Sawako begins to feel that everyone is starting to look at her differently.

thank you Sadako

      As Sawako heads off to eat lunch with Yano and Yoshida, Kazehaya comes to the realisation that he’ll won’t have much alone time with Sawako, he thinks it’s not fair but Sawako flashes him a wonderful smile as she’s leaving, and he really doesn’t want to share her.

Sadako's happy face

       Later, Shino runs up to Sadako and asks her if her dreams of making friends have come true? Yes. Shino then tells Yano and Yoshida that she’s leaving Sadako in their hands as she runs off to join her friends. After Shino leaves, Yano and Yoshida gets Sadako to admit that she used the term “love” to describe her feeling for them, and the walk off together.

your dream came true

so it was love

      Then we see the group of girls that were harassing Sadako and spreading those rumors talking about Kazehaya  reaction to the whole affair. They wonder how Yuuka, the leader, is taking this since she been infatuated with Kazehaya since middle school. Well, it seems that Yuuka has just walked up in time to hear their talk, and Yuuka starts to cry and runs off with the other girls chasing after her.

Yuuka's not having a good day

        Just then we see another girl (the French Doll) commenting that of course Kazehaya would hate them after such a childish act. Well, that’s all for this episode.

of course he hate them for that

      Well, I thought this was one hell of an episode. Throughout most of Kimi ni Todoke we watched Sawako go through life in a state of emotional disconnection with the greater world around her, while Sawako had managed to function as a student, and a daughter, Sawako was functioning only at a minimal level as a whole person. Sawako had emotionally detached herself from those around her in an attempt to shield herself from harm and hurt, and her detachment took many forms; Sawako wore the mask that she thought those around her wanted to see, Sawako erected her AT-Field that allowed her to deflect the negative perceptions of her, and finally Sawako build a wall that separated her desire for human connection from the possibility that she could be emotionally hurt and hurt others.

       When Sawako finally met Kazehaya, Yano, and Yoshida they chose to not pre-judge her based on her reputation, and a few cracks began to form in her various methods of protection. As Sawako slowly let her guard down she discovered that the life she had been leading was false and hollow, but due to her low self-esteem she felt that she had nothing to offer but pain. Kazehaya’s major role in Sawako’s growing strength is that he made her understand that it’s not her choice to decide what her value is to those around her, and that Sawako decided that her market price was zero before the bidding had even started. In the last episode Kazehaya demanded to know where his choice was in the matter of whether they should still be friends, and where was Yano’s and Yoshida’s choice in the decision of whether they should be friends with her.

       So, when Sawako had her confrontation with Yuuka she was faced with the choice of staying behind her methods of protection and continuing her emotionally stunted life or tearing down the wall and opening herself up to the wider world. After having briefly tasted the warm feelings of connection, and the possibility of love, Sawako chose to throw down the wall surrounding her and open herself up to the world around her and possibility of pain and rejection, but she also gave herself the chance to taste love and friendship, well done Sawako.

       Oh, by the way, for those of you who think that Kazehaya should be doing more, I feel that he’s got his role perfectly right, he can’t intervene for Sawako’s sake, it doesn’t work that way. Guys settle problems in a more physically confrontational manner, we can throw punches one day and have a beer together the next day. An intervention by Kazehaya in this girl on girl matter would have only made it worse on Sawako and the others, they had to settle this matter on their own.

Outside the Wall, by Pink Floyd

All alone, or in twos,
The ones who really love you
Walk up and down outside the wall.
Some hand in hand
And some gathered together in bands.
The bleeding hearts and artists
Make their stand.
And when they’ve given you their all
Some stagger and fall, after all it’s not easy
Banging your heart against some mad bugger’s wall
.

Outside her wall Sawako finds the real world

Kaiba-2009-11-11-15h26m34s121 

Screencaps from the Wall are from http://www.thewallanalysis.com/Intro.html