Loli


the Bakemonogatari Harem

      About every year or so, a harem type anime series , or at least a anime series that is loaded with girls comes along that makes me wish that I was about the main character’s age and had my choice of those girls. Examples of anime from the past where I would have wanted to have my choice of the girls are; Love Hina, Kanon, Clannad, KimiKiss, Ai Yori Aoshi, Shuffle, Azumanga Daioh, Da Capo, Lucky Star, and now my newest favorite Bakemonogatari.

      I think that the reason why I like these kind of series is that in my younger days, me and my friends were kind of like those harem leads; a little clueless and confused about the fairer sex. But, unlike those Japanese male harem leads we were horny dogs, and any fairly nice looking girl was a target of opportunity, almost nothing was off limits. I think that this phase lasted up until about age 20 when I finally realized that was more to an relationship than getting a girl to jump in the sack with me. But, these harem type anime make me long of those good old days, and what makes these series interesting is that the girls are ready for the taking if the lead would just get off his ass and go for it.

     So, this brings me to Bakemonogatari, I find the cast of girls surrounding Koyomi to be quite an interesting bunch and tasty bunch. Now, I’ll go down and describe each girls in detail, and at the end, I’ll make my choice.

The girls of Bakemonogatari.

Karen and Tsukihi Araragi

Karen and Tsukihi Araragi (Koyami’s younger sisters)

Pluses: Well, they’re both young and cute, and they live in the same house as you making them highly available.

Minuses: If you even consider them you must be crazy, they’re your sisters for god sakes.

Conclusion: While his sisters are really cute, they’re totally off limits for you. I think that the best thing to happen would be if Koyomi had some males friends that found his sisters attractive then maybe they’d stop riding his ass if they got a little loving.

Senjougahara Hitagi

Hitagi Senjōgahara (the star of the fascination movement)

Pluses: She’s very attractive, and she one of the very few tsundere girls to even admit to having that trait, she’s straight forward, and hell, she’s even undressed in front of you. She’s told you that she loves you, and she’s agreed to be your GF.

Minuses: I don’t know, but something just bothers me about her, while I find her an extremely interesting girl, she still has major issues.

Conclusion: While I wouldn’t mind hitting that, I’d always have to keep one eye open in case she snaps.

Nadeko Sengohu

Nadeko Sengoku (friend of your sisters)

Pluses: Nadeko is young and cute, you see her quite often because she’s your younger sisters’ friend, and she’s clearly crushing on you.

Minuses: Nadeko is about three or four years younger than you, and she’s a friend of your younger sisters. If you dated Nadeko you would be accused of robbing the cradle, and your sisters might think that you’re an asshole.

Conclusion: Nadeko is clearly attracted to you, and you’ve know her for a longtime, so this could be a high risk/reward relationship.

Hanekawa Tsubasa

Tsubasa Hanekawa (Koyomi’s long time friend)

Pluses: Tsubasa is very attractive,  intelligent, quiet and thoughtful, and she’s your long time friend. You also know that Tsubasa struggles with her inner nature to be a completely good girl, and that deep down inside she wants to be a little wild.

Minuses: Tsubasa has a terrible family life, and you know that she’s the subject of occasional physical abuse and maybe even worse things.

Conclusion: For all her problems Tsubasa is literally the girl next door type, and even better she harbors a hidden wild side. This is almost the perfect situation; with you, Tsubasa could unleash her hidden wild child and let off all her hidden desires to your benefit making for some rewarding study sessions.

Suragu Kanbaru

Suruga Kanbaru (you stole her crush)

Pluses: Suruga is very athletic, strong, and attractive.

Minuses: Suruga is a raging lesbian who’s attracted to your GF.

Conclusion: Are you crazy, leave this one alone because she tried to kill you once before.

Shinobu Oshino

Shinobu Oshino (the loli vampire)

Pluses: She was once a smoking hot vampire, and now, well……..she’s quite a loli.

Minuses:  Shinobu’s a almost totally catatonic loli vampire, and she’s not good for much interaction.

Conclusion: While it’s only a small step to take from sharing your blood with her to sharing other personal fluids I don’t see this relationship being very rewarding.

Mayoi Hachikuji

 Mayoi Hachikuji (the lost snail)

Pluses: Mayoi, literally is the true eternal loli, while you get older she stays the same.

Minuses: Well, first of all, she’s dead, and secondly while never getting older might be a plus, it would be kind of weird having a ghost loli as a GF as you got older.

Conclusion: While having a ghost loli for a GF might be fun and safe since I don’t think that statutory rape laws apply to dead girls that no one else can see, I think having Mayoi appear and disappear would be quite annoying. Plus, don’t piss her off, because she’s got one hell of a bite, ouch!

The winner of my Bakemonogatari harem prize goes to……………………….

My winner is Nadeko

      While it was a tough choice picking what girl I would want if I was Koyomi, it came down to a three way race between Nadeko, Tsubasa, and Hitagi with me choosing Nadeko as my winner.

      One of the biggest deciding factors came down to the simple fact that out of all the girls Nadeko seemed to be the most normal of the whole bunch, and that her supernatural problem was a result of other peoples problems with her, and not her having a major personal/family issue.

        Another factor in this decision was one of the emotional age/maturity level between Nadeko and Koyomi (and boys and girls in general). So, while Koyomi is several years older than Nadeko he’s really at about the same maturity level as she’s currently at. Koyomi’s a virgin boy who’s clearly attracted to Nadeko, and she’s a virgin girl who clearly is attracted to him, so I thinks it’s a perfect match. All they have to do is keep their relationship on the QT for a year or so, and then after another year or two when Koyomi’s a college junior and Nadeko’s a high school senior all people will say is that they make a cute couple and wonder if they’ll be invited to the wedding in a year or so.

      Plus, if I was Koyomi’s age, I wouldn’t mind it a bit to come home to find  Nadeko waiting for me dressed as below, Sweet!

Welcome home Koyomi

       This episode begins with Moetan’s creative staff discussing the end of the series and how will they get their fans to buy the DVDs. Then we see a little skit of Nao killing Pastel Ink with a light sabre, and then we see Dandy (Da-kun) sneaking a glimpse of Mio’s undies while she is in the shower and he gets caught.

 

      Then the series switches to high school, where Mio is now a first year student, and she is caught daydreaming about a cute guy in her class. Then after school, a female classmate of Mio chases after her and she stumbles and falls to the ground, immediately Mio recognizes her as the stupid magic girl that she fought in the other episode. While walking home, the girl tells Mio that someone named Himawari changed her into a magic girl because she wanted her help in defeating Mio.

 

       After a while Mio hears a voice calling to her, and Dandy tells her that the voice is from another world. Soon, Mio receives a text message on her magic girl phone telling her that she is Pastel Ink from another world and that she has died and needs her help in the other world. Mio and the other girl (Magical Shizuku) transform and Dandy tells them to head to Alice’s house so they can travel to the other world. Upon arriving at Alice’s house, Alice and her assistant tells the King that they also heard the voice and are ready to assist them.

       Soon, Alice transforms into a magical girl and she uses her power to open a gate to the world where Ink is currently in. When the group arrives in the new world they discover that Sumi and her maid are also there but in this other world Sumi is no longer rich but she is instead very poor. After Sumi extracts some food and money from the group she gives them directions to where Pastel Ink is being held in a frozen slumber.

       As Alice and Mio are searching for Ink, Nao and Arks (Ah-kun) have laid a trap for the girls. Once the girls arrive at the secret base they are attacked by Ka-kun after he transforms into his human form, Alice tries to battle him but she and Mio are overwhelmed by his power. Soon, Da-kun shows up and he tells the girls he’ll handle this, and as Dandy and Ka-kun begin to battle Alice and Mio continue on in search of Ink.

       Alice and Mio have to fight their way through the secret base until they are confronted by Ah-kun (Arks) and he unleashes his secret weapon on the girls, Dark Ink. At Ah-kun command Dark Ink attacks the girls telling them that she will kill them. Dark Ink is very powerful, and soon she is close to defeating the girls when Tempura Sumi and Alice’s assistant shows up from their world to help them. Sumi manages to change Ink back to her normal self by calling her a grade schooler, and Ah-kun uses his fart attack to escape from the girls.

 

       Once the girls arrive at Nao’s throne room he tells the girls his master plan, he will use his magical powers to transform every girl with a “B” cup or larger breast size into a “A” cups. After hearing this all the magic girls get very angry and Ah-kun decides that Nao will not be able to defeat all the girls, so he changes sides and is killed by Nao.

 

      Then Nao transforms into a giant monster with naughty tentacle attacks and Mio uses her magic girl staff to summon mecha planes from their original world. Once the planes arrive, the king tells the girls to go ahead and show him the power of magic girls, and they get transported to the planes and combine to form a giant robot. The girls then use a giant magic girl sword to destroy the Nao monster and then they return to their world.

      Then the show ends with Da-kun getting caught playing with Mio’s undies again, and then it finishes with a montage of the girls with their animal mascots in various poses. Well, That’s all for this episode and this series.

       Well, this episode was a nice way to send off the series with a bang of fan service, oh wait, this series was nothing but fan service. This episode managed to showcase everyone of the magic girls’ “special” abilities and “talents”.

      This episode’s major theme was all about loli, in fact Nao master plan was how he would transform all the girls in his world into “A” cups. While all the male leads supported or at least thought that it wasn’t a bad idea but the girls had a different opinion about.

      This episode also took the level of potty humor to a totaly different, previous Moetan episodes used some potty humor. We see two Ah-kun fart attacks, and Ka-kun does a “full moon” attack and even Dandy chooses to reveal his full power in a “pointed” golden attack.

       Overall, I found this episode to be amusing but not very original. At least the earlier episodes were driven by plot and story but this last episode just seemed to be almost pure filler.