Clannad ~After Story~ 15 review, the approach of a new life, and a great foreboding.

       This episode begins with Akio, Sanae, Nagisa, and Tomoya discussing the upcoming birth of Nagisa’s baby, Akio tells Tomoya that it will be a pain, but Tomoya tells him that he’ll protect her, and Sanae says that Tomoya sounds just like Akio when Nagisa was being born. Tomoya starts thinking about how he’ll now have to support three people since Nagisa will probably have to take a leave from her job.

      Then Tomoya gets congratulations from his fellow workers about his upcoming baby, and he also finds out that everyone from Nagisa’s neighborhood also knows about Nagisa’s pregnancy. As the days pass, Nagisa starts needing to sleep more and more because her morning sickness gets worse, Tomoya works hard taking care of Nagisa and the household. After about ten weeks, Nagisa starts to feel a little better, and Nagisa starts talking to Tomoya about having a home birth, she wants their baby to be born in their home.

       Later, Tomoya goes to visit Akio to talk about Nagisa’s request for a home birth,  Akio and Sanae both agree with Nagisa’s request as long as her health is OK. A few days later, Sanae brings over a woman named Yagi-san to visit with Tomoya and Nagisa, she’s a friend of Sanae, and she is also a midwife. After the meeting with Yagi-san, Sanae pulls Tomoya to the side and tells him that Yagi-san knows about Nagisa’s problems and tells Tomoya that the most important thing is to keep Nagisa relaxed and calm.

      Later that night, Nagisa asks Tomoya if he and her mother where talking about her health? Nagisa tells Tomoya not to worry, she knows that everyone is worried about her health, she also tells Tomoya that if something happens to her she wants to have this baby. Then during a visit to Nagisa’s parents house, the topic of the baby being able to now hear stuff outside the womb comes up, and soon Nagisa, Sanae, Akio, and Tomoya all sing the dango song together. After this, Tomoya feels that everything will be alright, but he still has worries in the back of his mind.

     Then one day Tomoya comes home from work to find that Nagisa has again become ill, Yagi-san tells Tomoya that the baby is OK, and Sanae tells Tomoya that starting tomorrow that she’ll spend her days with Nagisa. Then one day Sanae runs into Tomoya outside and she tells Tomoya that they have to discuss some things, so they go to Nagisa workplace. Over coffee, Sanae tells Tomoya that the doctors are now worried about the baby’s birth being a risk to Nagisa’s health, Tomoya asks if Nagisa’s health becomes worse should she have a abortion, and Sanae tells him that the doctors said that it should have been done as soon as possible. Sanae tells Tomoya that he should think over the possibilities with Nagisa.

     Once Tomoya returns home he discusses everything Sanae told him with Nagisa, and Nagisa tells Tomoya that she wants to have this baby, and Nagisa is even willing to forgo the home birth for a hospital birth if it will increase the chances of success. Tomoya goes to visit Akio and he tells him about Nagisa’s decision and his worries. Then Akio takes Tomoya to his secret place, where he tells Tomoya about the time when Nagisa was young and they left her alone and she wandered outside and collapsed. He tells Tomoya that when all seemed hopeless for Nagisa he grabbed Nagisa and ran with her and ended up in this place, he dropped to his knees and prayed for Nagisa’s salvation, and as if in a dream, Nagisa made a recovery. Now, he tells Tomoya that he considers this place to be a part of Nagisa, but we can see that the area is going to be turned into a hospital. Akio tells Tomoya that since we are family, we’ll help each other through the tough and painful times.

      A few days later, Nagisa and Tomoya are taking a walk and Nagisa feels the baby moving, so they sit down, and Nagisa wants to talk about a name for their baby. So they come up with the name Ushio Okazaki, they feel that this name will fit whether it’s a boy or a girl, Nagisa says that she’ll always watch over Ushio, and Tomoya asks Nagisa if she feels that Ushio’s existence is bigger then hers, and Nagisa says that’s true. Tomoya asks Nagisa to promise that next year they’ll all come to the beach together, Nagisa, Tomoya, and Ushio. After a small pause, Nagisa says it’s a promise. Well, that’s all for this episode.

      Well, after watching this episode I found myself experiencing so many mixed emotions that I’m finding that it’s really hard to place all my thoughts down properly. As Nagisa’s pregnancy progresses, I find myself being overwhelmed by the dual oppressive feelings of melancholy and foreboding. While this period of life should be one of the happiest for any young couple, it feels as if Nagisa views this event as the finishing point and validation of her life. While she’s never said as much to Tomoya or her parents, it’s as if Nagisa always felt that she was living on borrowed time and that if she gives birth to Ushio that she’s given birth to a existence greater than herself, sort of a culmination of all the happiness she has absorbed throughout her life.

      Until seeing this episode I’ve always wondered why Nagisa had this mysterious illness that seems to come back during the fall and winter, I’ve had my personal theories, but nothing firm. But, now I’ll take a guess, since there is this a legend about lights being created by creating happiness within the city, and those light can grant a wish. So, my guess is that since both Sanae and Akio were actors in high school, they created alot of joy and happiness by making people happy with their acting. So, when it looked like there was no hope left for Nagisa, and Akio grabbed her and ran off into the woods, his asking and praying for Nagisa to be saved was answered by the land and the city, but this also linked Nagisa to the land and the city. So, when fall and winter comes, Nagisa vitality and health declines as the land begins to wither and go dormant for the winter. But, Tomoya has noted that things are changing, the city where he and Nagisa found and created their happiness is beginning to disappear, and maybe Nagisa along with it. In the end, I think that Nagisa’s fate and maybe her final salvation will depend on whether or not she and Tomoya created enough happiness within the city and if they can grab hold of one of those globes of light.

      Overall, this was a fantastic episode that touched all my emotional strings, when Nagisa, Tomoya, Akio, and Sanae all sang the dango song together I teared up. I’ve really become attached to Tomoya and Nagisa, I hope and pray that things will turn out alright for them, but I can also feel winter’s cold approach again. Well, I guess I need to have a large box of tissues handy for the next episode, it most likely won’t be pretty.