Kimi ni Todoke (reaching you) episode 4 review; Sawako’s walls close in around her.

       Well, this episode begins at Sawako’s house with her parents noticing the change in her, and when her mother suggests she might be in love it draws quite a reaction from her father. As Sawako’s taking her bath she wonders if she using up her supply of happiness, but she agrees to enjoy it anyways.

      Back at school, Yoshida and Yano continue to deal with the rumors of their previous indiscretions. In the last episode when Yoshida and Yano confronted the girls they were told that Sadako was just using Kazehaya, Yoshida, and Yano to improve her reputation, so they decide to just ask her about this. When Yoshida and Yano talk with Sadako about their past it’s clear to them that she couldn’t have possibly started the rumors. When Sadako offers Yoshida her notes for the mid-term exam other students soon want to also use them, Yano and Yoshida declare Sadako to be pure and white.

        In the teachers’ office, we see Pin talking with Kazehaya, at first Pin just makes small talk about his drinking, but he comes right out and asks Kazehaya if he’s going out with Sawako, no real answer only stumbling from Kazehaya. While Sawako is outside eating lunch she thinks about how happy she is, and that before these experiences she thought that she was always meant to be alone.

      Later, Hirano and Endo come up to tell Yoshida and Yano that the rumors are getting worse, Yoshida now hits her grandfather, Yano is now prostituting herself, and Sadako is the source of those rumors. Also, Shino (Sawako’s friend from middle school) comes up to her and tells her that someone is spreading rumors about her, Shino refuses to believe that Sadako is slandering her friends. Shino tells Sadako that it’s good that she’s made friends like Yano and Yoshida. Sawako tells Shino that they’re not friends because that would imply that her relationship is on the same level of Yano and Yoshida’s relationship with each other. Just as Sadako was telling Shino that she’s not Yano and Yoshida’s friend they were listening to them talk but they get dragged away by Pin. Sawako tells Shino that she really likes Yano and Yoshida, and would really like to be their friend, but it would be assuming too much to on her part to call them that.

       Back in class, Yoshida is pissed because they got pulled away by Pin, Yano tells her that they didn’t get to hear what she really meant and that their answer would be complicated if they were asked if Sadako was their friend. When Sawako enters the class she can tell that something is wrong because Yano and Yoshida aren’t their cheerful selves. When they see her they have her sit down and tell her not to lie,  pre=”so “>Yano tells Sadako that they like her and they asks her what she thinks, does she like them? Sawako says, well, no, um, and she stumbles with her words so Yano and Yoshida assume that Sadako doesn’t really like them, Yano asks Sadako if they were bothering her? Sawako feels the change in the mood and doesn’t like it.

     Later, while Sawako is in the girls bathroom she hears the full rumors about her, Yano, Yoshida, and Kazehaya and   now understands that Yano and Yoshida were hurt, and it’s her fault. Sawako assumes that she causes hurt to the people around her and she even begins to think that she’ll just hurt Kazehaya, and she kind of blows him off after leaving school.

       On their way to school, Yano and Yoshida talk about Sadako and if she really could have spread those rumors and now they discuss the possibility that it could be true because of Sadako’s answer. When they run into the Sadako in the hall, she tells them she sorry for making them sad and runs off before they can speak with her. Sawako tries to find the people spreading the rumors about her, Yano, and Yoshida to clear up the misunderstanding, but to no avail. We see that these problems are affecting Sawako greatly, she’s in tears while trying to study in class.

       Later, Kazehaya runs Sawako down and says he saw her crying and wonders if he did anything to make her avoid him? No, you could never do anything to make me hate you, and Sawako runs away from him. When Sawako is alone she wonders if she should separate from Kazehaya, it would be better for him, she doesn’t want to, and Sawako is just totally messed up because she doesn’t know what to do. Well, that’s all for this episode.

       Well, this episode really hit me hard, I had been riding along on the emotional roller coaster of Sawako’s life, and until now that ride had been mostly uphill. It was thrilling watching Sawako slowly emerging from her stunted social and emotional cocoon like watching a butterfly entering  our world and gracing it with its beauty. Until now, Sawako had pretty much been dealing with people who were basically good at heart and chose to look at her more closely before passing judgement. A big part of Sawako’s problems in this episode are caused by her stunted social and emotional skills, if she had just been able to tell Yano and Yoshida that she liked them most of the drama would have been avoided. But, since Sawako is so socially and emotionally stunted she tends to over analyze and over think situations that we would find very easy to deal with. Sawako’s never really had friends or companionship so she has great difficulty figuring out what these relationship should look like or feel like, do you like us should have been a simple question to answer, and it is for normal people, but Sawako’s not normal. If Sawako had followed Kazehaya advice of making her feelings clear and saying how she really feels about something it would have been a lot easier. Now, Sawako must not only fight against the viscous rumors attacking her and her new found friends she must also fight against recreating those self imposed emotional barriers that she had used to protect herself in the past.